Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny

Unabridged Audiobook

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Book Rating (261)

Narrator Rating (121)

Written By: Holly Madison

Narrated By: Holly Madison

Date: June 2015

Duration: 10 hours 52 minutes


The shocking, never-before-told story of the bizarre world inside the legendary Playboy Mansion—and, finally, the secret truth about the man who holds the key—from one of the few people who truly knows: Hef’s former #1 girlfriend and star of The Girls Next Door

A spontaneous decision at age twenty-one transformed small-town Oregon girl Holly Sue Cullen into Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s #1 girlfriend. But like Alice’s journey into Wonderland, after Holly plunged down the rabbit hole, what seemed like a fairytale life inside the Playboy Mansion—including A-list celebrity parties and her own #1-rated television show for four years—quickly devolved into an oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies. Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn’t a dream at all—and quickly became her nightmare. After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.

But instead of ending her life, Holly chose to take charge of it.

In this shockingly candid and surprisingly moving memoir, this thoughtful and introspective woman opens up about life inside the Mansion, the drugs, the sex, the abuse, the infamous parties, and her real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and, of course, Mr. Playboy himself.

With great courage, Holly shares the details of her subsequent troubled relationship, landing her own successful television series, and the hard work of healing, including her turn on Dancing with the Stars. A cautionary tale and a celebration of personal empowerment, Down the Rabbit Hole reminds us of the importance of fighting for our dreams—and finding the life we deserve.


  • Christine Colone

    I was a little skeptical at first, but this book turned out to be AWESOME. When I was younger I watched "The Girls Next Door" so that's how I knew about Holly, but I had no idea what the behind the scenes was actually like. This gives you insight into her actual life and into the life in the mansion, not the glamour everyone thought it was. It's also surprisingly relatable (not that I was a bunny or in playboy or anything of the sorts) in what she's been through and where she started. I'd definitely recommend this book to anyone thinking about reading it!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful.

  • Keri P.

    I love this book. Courageous and Pose.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

  • teddi adams

    Thought I would not get through this book but was pleasantly surprised. Holly did a good job narrating it. Pity she had so little self esteem that she needed reaffirmation from such self centered man as Hugh Heffner and Chris Angel and that it took more than 10years to create her own path of success. Dreading between the lines, I think Holly should be respected for the way she shares information about living at the mansion and Heffs megalomaniac tendencies. So typical of the male species. On the other hand, I just wanted to shake her for accepting the situation at the mansion. All in all, not a bad "read" - liked the introduction of each chapter with a references from "Down the rabbit hole".

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

  • Heather K.

    I found this book very entertaining and interesting. I would have had no idea some of the things that went on in the Mansion without Holly's stories. I think this book is well written and a must.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

  • Elizabeth Krijnen

    I loved this book, it provided an interesting view into a life behind the mansion walls!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

  • Nancy Mitchell Ash

    Poor Holly, the only "girlfriend" who was not mean to others. Although I sympathize with the conditions, if true, under which these women lived, it seems to me that taking seven years to wake up to being abused daily is a little long. I hate to say it, but reading between the lines, the whole arrangement was sleazy from the beginning, with the key to living at the mansion was to sleep with old Heff at the get-do. Listening to the book, like watching "The Girls Next Door," was like picking scabs, painful but strangely compelling.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

  • Kimberly Cervantes

    She is amazing... I loved listening to her telling her own story. I felt I was walking with her through each chapter of her life. To learn what really happened in the Bunny house and to triumph and succeed on her own. I see Mr. Puffin in a whole new light... He is a bully pulling strings.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

  • Juliette Vilot

    Interesting listen and a " behind the scenes" look at life in the mansion. Holly 's tale is provocative, surprising and sheds new light on the not so glamorous life of a Playboy Playmate. I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

  • Alena Martin

    I really enjoyed this book! It was interesting right away from the first page you're hooked. It includes all the juicy details you're hoping to hear as a reader. Certain parts actually made me gasp out loud! Holly was really easy to listen to as a narrator. The only thing I was disappointed with was towards the end of the book it became dull at times compared to the shocking information revealed during the first half of the book. I would still absolutely recommend this book, it was very entertaining.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

  • Claire Owens

    I loved it! I've never seen the Show Girls Next Door nor am I a big fan of Playboy, but I thought, "why no?" It feels like you're sitting down in your room and Holly is just your friend telling a story. A really juicy, interesting story. She's so down to earth, humble and a lot nicer than I expected. She also changes her voice when she's quoting different people. 5 stars!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

  • Anonymous

    Very interesting listen!

  • Dennis R.

    Intuition sent me to this book...well, that and seeing it on IG stories ;) I'm glad I paid attention, because there is an incredible parallel to my own life within these pages. I feel that could happen with a lot of people. Give it a shot! Thank you, Holly.

  • Vanessa M.

    I surprisingly really enjoyed this book, I don't know what I expected but I was pleasantly surprised. Holly is open and shares her genuine experience at the mansion. As someone who watched the series The Girls Next Door it honestly is great to hear Holly is now living life on her terms.

  • Rebecca Michele

    loved this book ❤️

  • Anonymous

    Amazing read!

  • Nichole H.

    I had to watch girls next door while listening to this. It was interesting to hear her talk about what it was really like, while watching the very scripted show. If it’s true, you feel sorry for her.

  • Anonymous


  • Mary N.

    Loved the book and it was so worth it to be able to read it with Holly. Her voice really helps capture so many emotions and experiences she went through!

  • Renata D.

    I love this book. I’ve read already in hungarian, but I bought to listen in english. I love Hollys voice and she speaks really nicely, so easy to understand also if somebodys mother tongue is different than english.

  • Trent G.

    Good. Very repetitive. Worth the read none the less.

  • Michele H.

    This was a terrific summer listen - Holly dishes the tea and does a great job narrating. Definitely recommend this one!

  • Helen E.

    Holy has totally written this to clearly make herself look innocent and naive all the while throwing everyone under the bus!

  • Ericka R.

    It was interesting to get the inside scoop but I am happy to know how sting holly really is !! God bless her and her family !!!

  • Kim s

    This book is very eye opening and interesting. Even taking it with a grain of salt it was still shocking and a great glimpse of the playboy mansion. I would definitely recommend for anyone interested in holly, girls next door or playboy.

  • Courtney B

    Love this book and Holly Madison. Her books are very enjoyable and would easily recommend.

  • Kerri B

    I found it fascinating and made a lot of sense from what was on Girls next Door. Congrats to Holly.

  • Seraphina B

    I finally had the opportunity of reading this inspiring book. I don't know why I waited so long to read it. Like other millions of viewers I was also a fan of girls next-door. Holly cleared up a lot about life in the mansion, questions I had about it, and the ups and downs.

  • Liza Dittmar

    After reading this book I now think holly is a self absorbed self centrerd woman who i don't like at all. She always seems to be the common denominator in any drama taking place and have lost all interest and respect for her. Won't ever follow her news again

  • Daisy Castro

    This book is a must for any fan of The Girls Next Door, Holly's World, or Playboy. This is a glimpse into the world of a former playboy bunny. It definitely puts Holly's life in perspective. From "scripted" reality show, to emotions of a girl in her 20's caught in a "taboo" relationship. Having her as the narrator helps to add something extra to the experience of this book. The only reason I didn't give it 5 stars, is because by the end I feel that it truly was a biased compilation of stories. I feel as if it was a bit self-serving, which causes me to question the genuineness of the book.

  • Cynthia SilvaGarcia

    This is book is interesting especially if you followed The Girls Next Door since the beginning. I am a big fan of all the ladies, and I read Kendra's book long ago. It puts into perspective the different realities that each person has lived. This is book is great to add another dimension for the fan. It is also a great book for a non fan or any person who has ever caught their own self in an unhealthy relationship. Holly adds thought and encouragement for those who can relate. That is always a cool thing! I do not give a full five stars because there are minor instances that really feels unbelievable. However, it is a great book for me because I reflected a lot.

  • Beth Zollicoffer

    Very cute book, fun to listen to. if you liked the TV show you will love hearing about the "real world " behind the scenes.

  • Calyn D\'Alton

    A fun, well read book. Easy listening. Well worth it.

  • Guy Chanda Mills

    I lived this audio! Holly did a great job narrating it.

  • Tayla Whitehead

    So amazing to actually hear the insides of what you went through!! At first I wasn't sure if I would be able to believe what your side of the story was but since hearing it from your side is absolutely amazing. Have to say actually listening to it read by the author has made this book so much better for me as well One happy happy customer

  • S P

    As a fan of the 'Girls Next Door', where I first came across the author, I have to admit this book for me is a real gem, especially listening to the audio version read by Holly herself. Holly is an incredibly courageous woman and I loved listening to her adventures both in and out of the 'rabbit hole'. I must admit, having read Kendra's 'Sliding into Home' and having watched every episode of the GND that Holly mentions, I was both shocked and fascinated to hear the real tale of events that Holly went through. I must admit this book and Holly's account has really changed my opinion on Playboy's editor in chief, Hugh Hefner. Watching GND, it really seemed as though Holly and Hef had a genuine relationship - at the very least I thought Hef must have treated Holly and the girls like Queens... (boy was I wrong)! I was one of those fans that wondered why on earth Holly eventually left the Playboy mansion and also presumed that Hef had really messed up letting her go. Well thank you Holly for truly clearing the mystery up and I am so very glad for your side of the story. This book is not only addictive to keep listening to but it's also truly revealing. 'Puffin' and his Playboy Mansion are more like a dictator and a prison! Overall, I am super pleased for Holly that she broke out of the false relationship, the prison cell and away from a man that made her feel worthless. Her happily ever after consists of being Rainbow's mom, Pasquale's princess, a savy business woman and as a fan, one of the most important things to include is... a very happy Holly. A side note for Girls Next Door fans, Holly reveals how she stayed with Mary O'Connor and Captain Bob, after leaving the Playboy mansion, during her Dancing with the Stars gig.. very touching stories towards the end of the book! “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” ? Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

  • Nicola Lee

    Loved listening to this! I was a huge fan of the show and always wondered why she left the mansion. It was a very interesting behind the scene look at not only her life with Hef but her life in general. Highly recommend.

  • Justin Bauer

    Very interesting story. Holly is definitely a very smart woman and it was awesome having her narrate the book. Anyone that has an interest in anything Playboy, Girls Next Door, or Holly's World I would definitely recommend reading this.

  • K G

    Great listen! Found myself listening whenever I could.

  • Lori Bradley

    This book was a very good read. It was hard to stop listening. Definitely recommend.

  • Mai Xiong

    Very interesting! Finished in 2 days! I'm glad it turned out good for Holly.

  • Crystal-Lee Quibell

    An addictive listen as the author nails what really happens behind the mansion walls. Excellent narration by the author.

  • Brianna Esparza

    Awesome! I could not stop listening. I loved listening to how Holly grew in to her own, discovered herself, and became the independent and confident powerhouse she always hoped to be. Jaw dropping and addicting.

  • HOLLY Rivera

    Completely unexpected and extremely interesting! I couldn't stop listening!

  • Yolanda Holly

    An interesting inside story of the somewhat intriguing Firm, called The Playboy. Holly did well writing her story. One book that brought Hefner into a true, unflattering light. Good for her.

  • Monica Orozco

    Love it, this book is not only interesting , witty, but inspirational???? I love you Holly

  • Hayley Moore

    Really good read, provides an untold insight into the world of playboy and Holly's perspective.

  • cheyenne thompson

    Beginning of the book was very interesting, but the end failed short. Wonderful hearing secrets about playboy enterprises.


    Down the Rabbit Hole was a wonderful book. Holly Madison did a great job. Enjoyed!

  • Jamilla Phillips

    Enjoyed enjoyed couldn't stop listening!!i enjoyed every part of this book and enjoyed her reading her own story it was great #TeamHolly

  • Laurie Hagar

    The first two thirds were interesting. The last third degenerates into high-school-like he said-she said in a way that doesn't advance the "plot" but seems more like advancing the author's private agenda. In spite of this, Holly generally is engaging and the book in her own voice is easy on the ear. I think she's actually quite good at the narration.

  • Lisa Roberts

    I really enjoyed this book! Author can be a little too descriptive which drags the book on longer than I think it was needed but I still enjoyed it lots. However we will never know if it's really true it was still enjoyable to understand a little more about what actually happens. I feel sorry for the author throughout as she struggles and I'm pleased she managed to get better

Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny

by Holly Madison

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny, Holly Madison
Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny, Holly Madison
This title is due for release on June 23, 2015.

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This title is due for release on June 23, 2015
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