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Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life

Unabridged Audiobook

Written By: Margalis Fjelstad

Narrated By: Dawn McKelvie Cyr

Publisher: Novel Audio

Date: May 2016

Duration: 8 hours 3 minutes


People with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders have a serious mental illness that primarily affects their intimate, personal, and family relationships. Often they appear to be normally functioning at work and in public interactions, and Narcissists may even be highly effective, in the short term, in some work or social situations. However, in intimate relationships, they can be emotional, aggressive, demeaning, illogical, paranoid, accusing, and controlling—in the extreme. Their ability to function normally or pleasantly can suddenly change in an instant, like flipping a switch. These negative behaviors don’t happen once in a while; they happen almost continuously in their intimate relationships and most often, and especially with their Caretaker family member.

Here, Margalis Fjelstad describes how people get into a Caretaker role with a Borderline or Narcissist, and how they can get out. Caretakers give up their sense of self to become who and what the Borderline or Narcissist needs them to be. This compromises the Caretaker’s self-esteem, distorts their thinking processes, and locks them into a Victim-Persecutor-Rescuer pattern with the Borderline or Narcissist. The book looks at the underlying rules and expectations in these relationships and shows Caretakers how to move themselves out of these rigid interactions and into a healthier, more productive, and positive lifestyle—with or without the Borderline/Narcissistic partner or family member. It describes how to get out of destructive interactions with the Borderline or Narcissist and how to take new, more effective actions to focus on personal wants, needs, and life goals while allowing the Borderline or Narcissist to take care of themselves. It presents a realistic, yet compassionate, attitude toward the self-destructive nature of these relationships, and gives real life examples of how individuals have let go of their Caretaker behaviors with creative and effective solutions.


  • Alex G.

    A life changing book for me. The narrator speaks with a compassionate voice.

  • Kendra A

    Wonderful book and an easy listen. You will want to listen more than once. Very insightful, empathetic and empowering! Thank you.

  • Sibylle Sadler

    I have been struggling coming out of a narcissist relationship and now been involved with someone with cluster B symptoms. Always wondered why I keep giving in, taking the abuse and can't walk away. This book has helped me see how I can become more healthy and is making me feel stronger about myself by explaining why I react the way I do and how to change it.

  • Book Critic

    Extremely easy to relate to and very insightful as well. Totally worth the credit!

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life

by Margalis Fjelstad

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Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life, Margalis Fjelstad