Dear Mr. Gallagher,
I do not need this job. In fact, I will remind you that I'm doing you a favor. I am working for you only because I don't want you to inflict your grumpiness on my friends any longer. I am a strong, confident woman and know how to put men like you in their place.
I won't succumb to your flirtations or your attempts to try and shock me. I am not impressed by your six-pack or your six-figure bank account. I suggest you realize that I am out of your league in so many ways, it's not even funny.
Concentrate on your business endeavors, and I will concentrate on completing your projects on time.
Your assistant for a short time,
Elisabetta Franco
Elisabetta,
I can feel how much you're aching for me to take you on a date through this computer screen. In an attempt to be accurate:
1. The six-pack is an eight-pack.
2. The six-figure bank account is actually nine figures.
3. Are you awarding me the Grumpy Boss of the Year award?
Because, darling, trust me, there are other awards I'd much rather earn.
Your boss, here for a good time,
Liam Gallagher
As I stare at Liam's email, there is one thing I know to be true in my life. I never should have accepted a job working for this jerk of a man. I am very much a goldfish swimming in shark-infested waters.