A hilarious travel memoir about a man who moved with his wife, three kids, and two pets onto a forty-six-foot sailboat for a year. He expected it to be a yearlong version of Margaritaville, but what he got was shipwrecks, bad directions, hygiene calamities, and pirate attacks (sort of). Perfect for fans of Dave Barry, Bill Bryson, and David Sedaris.

Did you know that the remora fish will try to swim up a whale shark’s butt when they poop? The crew of Twig didn’t. It turns out there was an awful lot the family of five didn’t know when they decided to move aboard and set off for adventure on the high seas.

After decades of dreaming and planning, the explorers finally sailed off into the sunset. Yes, they found the palm trees and coconuts they had longed for, but they also glimpsed the other side of paradise. They ran from waterspouts, dodged hurricanes, got (sort of) robbed by pirates, and played chicken with naval warships. They found themselves making emergency calls to the Coast Guard in the dead of night and learning the exact purpose of a nut jiggler during a late-night beach bonfire.

Join as the inevitable is pondered after a meal of coffee and chili on a night watch in “What if I have to go poo?”. Commiserate the anxiety of the hurricane season and practice dodging rogue unmanned boats during a midnight tropical storm. Laugh at the captain’s intimate misfortunes with marine toilets, sense what a pirate smells like, and discover how not to get crabs in this page-turning journey of the East Coast. You are invited to follow along with the frustration and joy of a life newly discovered afloat a forty-six-foot catamaran.

Remember: If everything had gone exactly as planned...it wouldn’t have been much of an adventure.