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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Unabridged Audiobook

Written By: Chelsea Handler

Narrated By: Chelsea Handler

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Date: April 2008

Duration: 6 hours 14 minutes


In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands-the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date--including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.


  • Anonymous

    really not good. Maybe 10% is pretty funny. Like this sort of book? go with ANYTHING by David Sedaris for something much much much (much!) better.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

  • Denise

    I had always found Chelsea Handler somewhat amusing and thought this book would be entertaining. I was wrong. I couldn't even finish it - 2 discs were all I could stomach. And I "get" Chelsea as another reviewer said, but this entire book is just too mean and vulgar (and I'm not referring to the language, I'm referring to the baseness of the character revealed). Just don't bother - you'll be happier for having missed this one.

    4 of 5 people found this review helpful.

  • Anonymous

    I love Chelsea and I was able to "get" that she is being sarcastic and overly dramatic - that is what she does. I can just see her deadpan face when she is saying something so utterly ridiculous without a quiver in her voice. I loved the story (stories, really) and wonder if there is even a kernel of truth to any of it. Because if there is - it is hilarious! It was nice light "reading" that I didn't have to sit in the car in the heat to make sure I didn't miss anything.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful.

  • Anonymous

    This book was absolutely hysterical! I loved every minute of it. I like the fact that the Chelsea narrated the book herself. This made it even more comical. I'm not sure if half of those stories are true but they were funny anyway.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful.

  • Toni

    At first, I was skeptical in picking this book because I didn't think I really cared too much for Chelsea Handler's comedy. But, this book mad me laugh so hard, it mad my cheeks and stomach hurt. I thought I was literally going to burst from laughter. I think it's even better as an audio book too because the author reads it as it's meant to be read which makes it even funnier.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful.

  • Anonymous

    Fun,fun,fun. Perfect for when you don't want to think and just be entertain. Not a family "read" though.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful.

  • Anonymous

    I have VERY low standards and I did not even finish listening to the first disk. I thought I would find it amusing, but the prose style was so weirdly self-conscious and stilted and... Anyway, don't bother.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful.

  • Dave G of Lake Hopatcong, NJ

    Not a fan of this book. I was, however, a fan of hers and was anxious to learn about her. I was not sure if the book manuscript was part of the act, but she came across as a pretty rotten person in the book. It might not be logical, but I try to only like celebs who I feel are decent people as well. If the book was an act, it was not funny, and if it was truthful, there was no real substance to this book.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful.

  • Sarah

    I loved this book! Chelsea is funny, witty and out of control. Audio form was all the better because she narrated it!

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful.

  • Courtney B

    Fine until she got to the president part then I quit listening.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

by Chelsea Handler

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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, Chelsea Handler