Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Unabridged Audiobook

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Book Rating (220)

Narrator Rating (24)

Written By: Chelsea Handler

Narrated By: Chelsea Handler

Date: April 2008

Duration: 6 hours 14 minutes


Welcome to Chelsea Handler's world—a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense.

When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power—vodka. Seems reasonable, when considering that she discovered her boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo and she had to pretend to be honeymooning with her father in order to upgrade to first class.

In this highly entertaining, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she’s convincing her third-grade class that she has been chosen to play Goldie Hawn’s daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations. Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today.


  • Denise

    I had always found Chelsea Handler somewhat amusing and thought this book would be entertaining. I was wrong. I couldn't even finish it - 2 discs were all I could stomach. And I "get" Chelsea as another reviewer said, but this entire book is just too mean and vulgar (and I'm not referring to the language, I'm referring to the baseness of the character revealed). Just don't bother - you'll be happier for having missed this one.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful.

  • Anonymous

    I love Chelsea and I was able to "get" that she is being sarcastic and overly dramatic - that is what she does. I can just see her deadpan face when she is saying something so utterly ridiculous without a quiver in her voice. I loved the story (stories, really) and wonder if there is even a kernel of truth to any of it. Because if there is - it is hilarious! It was nice light "reading" that I didn't have to sit in the car in the heat to make sure I didn't miss anything.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful.

  • Anonymous

    This book was absolutely hysterical! I loved every minute of it. I like the fact that the Chelsea narrated the book herself. This made it even more comical. I'm not sure if half of those stories are true but they were funny anyway.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful.

  • Toni

    At first, I was skeptical in picking this book because I didn't think I really cared too much for Chelsea Handler's comedy. But, this book mad me laugh so hard, it mad my cheeks and stomach hurt. I thought I was literally going to burst from laughter. I think it's even better as an audio book too because the author reads it as it's meant to be read which makes it even funnier.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

  • Anonymous

    Fun,fun,fun. Perfect for when you don't want to think and just be entertain. Not a family "read" though.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

  • Anonymous

    I have VERY low standards and I did not even finish listening to the first disk. I thought I would find it amusing, but the prose style was so weirdly self-conscious and stilted and... Anyway, don't bother.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

  • Anonymous

    really not good. Maybe 10% is pretty funny. Like this sort of book? go with ANYTHING by David Sedaris for something much much much (much!) better.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

  • Dave G of Lake Hopatcong, NJ

    Not a fan of this book. I was, however, a fan of hers and was anxious to learn about her. I was not sure if the book manuscript was part of the act, but she came across as a pretty rotten person in the book. It might not be logical, but I try to only like celebs who I feel are decent people as well. If the book was an act, it was not funny, and if it was truthful, there was no real substance to this book.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

  • Sarah

    I loved this book! Chelsea is funny, witty and out of control. Audio form was all the better because she narrated it!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

  • Courtney B

    Fine until she got to the president part then I quit listening.

  • Krista D

    I loved listening to this book! If you enjoy raw and vulgar humor and you pick up on sarcasm then you will enjoy this book. If you are offended easily then avoid this book like the plague! Thank you Chelsea Handler for being the sick and twisted person you are and for sharing your life and experiences!

  • Jessica Luna

    I don't know why this book exists. It wasn't funny and it was just retelling of anecdotal situations that aren't all that funny.

  • Cari Anderson

    For all of the bad reviewers who don't like sarcastic books about drinking and escapades WHY would you buy a book with Vodka in the title? For everyone that hasn't read it, if you have a sense of humor, don't take life too seriously and are not looking for a great work of literature, but want to be entertained and laugh a lot, I highly recommend!

  • Anonymous

    Somewhere in my late teens, I stopped finding humor in my own or others' drunken behavior. I have never found promiscuity amusing or admirable. I get irony, the wry humor in self deprecation...but this book went back before theend of the second CD.

  • Nicole Smith

    I'm a huge Chelsea groupie! Love everything she has written, made. This book is freaking hilarious. I listen to it in my car and laugh my ass off.

  • Jennifer Peltier

    I loved almost every minute of this book! Regardless to how crazy I looked driving down the road hysterically laughing, while being the only one in the car!!

  • Amy Jorgensen

    she is fantastic! Funny, smart, interesting: my new favorite author.

  • Greg Meadows

    This book is pure crap. No good This book is pure crap. No good

  • Julsden

    I thought this was one of the funniest audio books I have heard. The fact that Chelsea narrated made it even better. I highly recommend!

  • Anonymous

    Entertaining and quick listen, made my commute more tolerable with humor.

  • Michelle

    This book was funny. Not quite as funny as I was expecting it to be, but it was entertaining. It actually wasn't as vulgar as I was expecting either having watched Chelsea Lately.

  • sdf

    TOO FUNNY! I almost drove off the road more than a few times !

  • Brooke Kwaterski

    I loved this book...Chelsea makes me laugh until I pee even on the worst of days!!

  • jstodd

    Love every bit of it - hadn't really listened to Chelsea Handler much but I certainly will now.

  • Anonymous

    I think this is the the classicbook based on nothing including talent.

  • Anonymous

    I did not like this book at all. It is just random stories about the author's drunkeness and dysfunctional family. None of the stories are even funny. I would not recommend it.

  • Nacheska

    I couldn't get into this one...possibly my life in another part of the country just kept me from understanding why any of this had value. I sent it back after the first CD. Not a fit for me.

  • TGlover

    I thought this book was hilarious! I listened to it while gardening and laughed so much, my neighbors started giving me strange looks. Chelsea Handler maybe crass, but she tells it like it is. I just love a laugh-out-loud book and this book definitely delivered the goods. I recommended it to all my friends who aren't offended by what I call "potty-mouth humor."

  • Anonymous

    I found this book to be largely vulgar. The content, in particular the references to Mexicans, was enormously offensive. She showed NO respect for her father or mother, her humor laying far beyond the realm of poking fun at them. She referred to her own father as "bitch tits," which made me feel heart sick. I like vodka, too, Chelsea, but maybe you should drink LESS when you're writing so that you won't sound like such a crude, crass SIMPLETON. Several times while listening to this so-called "book," I felt like pulling out the disk and throwing out the window! Never listen to anything by this racist, sex-starved alcoholic. Rampant babbling is all it was...

  • Sandra

    There were parts in this book that had me laughing so hard that I had to wipe away tears!

  • Funny!

    After listening to this book, I find the TV show even funnier. I was sorry when the book ended. If you are easily offended, this probably isn't the book for you. I found it to be hilarious. No one should take themselves too seriously, even if one is self absorbed!

  • Nikkie

    I ordered this book because at times I find Chelsea hilariously funny (on her talk show). I have to say, though, this book was anything but funny. Very unoriginal (everything from the book you can see, hear and read from other comedians). Not only politically incorrect, but downright offensive. Don't waste your time, there are many other books that are truly funny and enjoyable.

  • Melissa

    If you enjoy Handler's show you will love this book! I gave the book to my mother and a few friends and they all loved it! I already read the book and I thought hearing it from her on the audio book made it even funnier. We're waiting for her next book.

  • gabby

    Very funny. Good for a laugh. I really enjoyed listening to the antics of Chelsea's life.

  • Pamalama

    Chelsea Handler is quite simply annoying and self-absorbed. Her voice did not add anything to this book, in fact it made it more annoying. Couldn't wait to mail it back!

  • Anonymous

    If you watch her show you will love this book. She is even funnier, if that is possible

  • ML

    Handler relies too much on racial stereotypes and vulgar language to be considered anything close to a David Sederis. Sedaris cusses to emphasize something a story or humorous part, Handler uses it as the humorous part. She has potential, but has a ways to go to become one of my regular reads.

  • Anonymous

    I have never enjoyed car rides as I did while listening to this. I would sit in the parking lot at work and finish the chapter.

  • Anonymous

    Chelsea Handler is a breath of fresh air. She is funny, quirky and honest and this collection of short stories had me laughing out loud in the car. I had never heard of her before, and now I'm a total fan!

  • Diana N

    I was, at first, thinking this was going to be too vulgar to even listen to. I kept with the story and ultimately found that it was humorous. Still sad in a away that this young woman allowed herself to be used, sexually, as she did and pass it off as a right of passage. (I would hope any daughter of mine would have more self respect). I did not necessarily gain any new insights into reading such a story, but I did look this gal up on Widipedia and she seems to be a rather talented and beautiful young woman. So sad she feels the need to write in such course language.

  • rsecore

    Laugh out loud! She is smart and witty! Listen to this book!

  • Anonymous

    I really enjoyed this book. Chelsea is very funny. The fact that she reads the book is great. She has great voice inflection and perfect timing. She is pretty crazy -- I can't believe some of the stuff that she gets herself into.

  • apontzius

    This was a great book , I laughed till i cried! Chelsea has a great since of humor ! You will love this book a must download!

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

by Chelsea Handler

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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, Chelsea Handler
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