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Book Rating (17)

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Assholes Finish First

Abridged Audiobook

Written By: Tucker Max

Narrated By: Tucker Max

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Date: September 2010

Duration: 8 hours 26 minutes


What do you do after you write a #1 bestselling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another fucking book on your hands.

Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit."

You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking:

• What's it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets?

• How does it feel to get multiple requests to "fuck for charity"?

• What does it do to a man to watch a 19-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does?

• At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job?

• When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name next to her pussy, what is the appropriate reaction?

• Can you X-ray a blowjob?

The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences:

His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.


  • Mark Pope

    Morbidly fascinating though I dislike the author and his attitude toward life and people. I find I like myself a little less for listening to the whole thing.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

  • Travis Lagesse

    I liked it.

  • Nick Capps

    This book is great for a laugh, I look like a crazy person laughing out loud on the bus all by myself but it is soooo worth it. I have read it a couple of times but having Tucker himself narrate it adds a whole new level of awesomeness! I am definitely going back and listening to I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (his first book which I have read 3 times). Audio adds so much to this book, well done Tucker!

  • Heather Dulworth

    I don't understand why so many hate this book, these women were consenting adults. Is it polite, absolutely not, but is it funny, hell yes! I was disturbed many times by the lack of esteem of these girls but that's their choice. He is a huge jerk and extremely cocky but the stories are unbelievably hilarious.

  • Sanjay Singhal

    I love this book, can't wait to read his first one now. I agree that he's beneath human at times, but the quality of the writing is excellent, him narrating it himself is even better. I rarely laugh out loud when listening to a book, but this one had me pulling off the side of the road because I started having a fit.