By age 25, Tracie Bork is a rising scientist and half of a power couple who throws lavish faculty parties. But beneath the perfect surface lurks the chaos she’s tried to control since childhood—and alarming physical symptoms she’d rather dismiss. Each year, she works more fiendishly than the one before as the complications to her health compound and become more mysterious until finally, she hits a wall, body, mind, and soul.

In a series of honest inquiries and reflections, Bork chronicles her journey as a patient, academic, former military brat, and woman in search of faith. She explores the inexplicable connection between early trauma and a damaged nervous system—which incites a cascade of drug and food reactions that bring her to the brink of death—and the cost of using control to feel safe in the world that’s let her down.

One part coming-of-age story and another part medical thriller, the stories in Becoming unfold everywhere from Kodiak, Alaska, to Kyoto, Japan, and ultimately reveal the healing that’s possible if we can quiet our analytical mind and open up to divine assistance.

This memoir will baffle, educate, and validate anyone struggling with a mysterious illness or chronic high stress, inspiring them to face their fears, let go of the coping strategies that hold them back, and live spiritually awakened.