In the spring of 2022, the renowned Steppenwolf Theatre Company boldly, and perhaps cavalierly, re-emerged from the Covid-19 pandemic with a brand new, 43 million dollar, state-of-the-art theatre. Director Yasen Peyankov insisted he cast the premiere production - a brand new, adaption of The Seagull - with as many Steppenwolf ensemble members as possible. This meant coaxing one non-actor, director and writer Eric Simonson, into coming back to the stage after a 33 year absence. Taking a leap in the dark, and battling the demons of stage-fright, confidence and homesickness, Simonson took up the challenge and started on a journey into the great theatrical unknown. Part diary, part history of the Chicago Theater Renaissance, this memoir takes the reader behind the scenes of a Steppenwolf classic, and inside the head of a man desperate to rediscover the joy and craft of acting.