God's just been in a deep-freeze coma in the Arctic. Strapped for cash, the Vatican has sold the body (a bargain at $1.3 billion!) to Baptists in Florida. Enterprising souls that they are, they’ve turned the Corpus Dei into a popular two-mile-long theme-park attraction at Orlando’s Celestial City USA—hooked up to the largest life-support system on earth. Then things get weird.

Martin Candle, a justice of the peace who’s suffered a series of devastating setbacks, decides to put Him on trial in The Hague for crimes against humanity. Now, to accumulate evidence for the prosecution, Candle enters God’s brain on a steamer to find out what in the world the Almighty could possibly have been thinking all these years