This honest, funny and at times heartbreaking memoir follows Brad Poulter, with his almost 20 years in the New Zealand Navy. From small-town New Zealand to serving in Afghanistan, his own journey being comfortable with his sexuality mirrors that of the navy itself: from a time of 'don't ask, don't tell' through to being named the most inclusive defence force in the world.


Raised among strong women, butcher's benches and hard ideas about what men are meant to be, Brad Poulter grows up knowing he's different long before he has the words for it.

But in late '90s small-town New Zealand, 'different' isn't discussed, it's managed. Joining the Royal New Zealand Navy offers escape, certainty and belonging. The rules are clear, the uniform fits. Silence feels like part of the job.

But passing as straight comes at a cost. As deployments stack up, including service in Afghanistan during the War on Terror, the pressure of pretending collides with trauma, grief and the struggle for identity, and something gives way. From ship's galleys to combat zones, investigation rooms to leadership tables, Built For This charts a life shaped by discipline, loyalty and unspoken rules – and explores what happens when you stop accepting them.

Honest, sharp and often funny, this is a memoir about masculinity – how it's built, inherited and performed – and what it takes to rebuild it on your own terms.

‘Inspiring, funny and moving… a must-read.’ DR PAUL WOOD, author of How to Escape from Prison