I am Lady Assassin Krunch. Okay, not really. But I'm dressed like her at the CosPlay Con I waited forever to attend. And I play her in the live action role play group I belong to. It's nerdy. I'm aware. But there's not a lot to do for a socially awkward pharmacy technician from Fargo, North Dakota.



My life is lonely and boring . . . until I get sucked into a portal through my phone at the Con and tossed into an alternate time on an alien planet.



Turns out I am Assassin Krunch after all because this planet makes all your desires come true. Except, I sort of crash landed in the middle of an alien wedding and now Gamalt, the priest of Tala Furi, who is also the groom, thinks I'm his fated mate. And his fiancé—ex?—wants me dead.



I may have accidentally started a war. Oops.



Gamalt has magic hair and his body lights up like a holiday tree when we touch. He says it means we're meant to be together. I think he has a screw loose. Fine, so he's hot for an alien. But I just want to go home.



But my desires could cost Gamalt his life, and the choices I make will have consequences that even Assassin Krunch can't fix. What was that I was saying about my life being boring?



Contains mature themes.