Fearful Avoidant Attachment: Understanding and Loving a Partner who Constantly Blows Hot & Cold and Building Trust and Emotional Intimacy

Do you feel disconnected with your partner?Does their hot & cold attitude confuse you, leaving you feeling that you can't communicate your needs?Are you worried about drifting apart?
Attachment styles are the way that we connect with other people. They are generally developed by infants and further refined by children, adolescents and adults.


A person with a fearful avoidant attachment lives in an ambivalent state of being, afraid of being both too close to or too distant from others.
People with fearful avoidant attachment may show signs of:

◆ Stormy, highly emotional relationships.

◆ Conflicting feelings about relationships (desiring a romantic relationship and being fearful of being hurt or left by a significant other).

◆ A tendency to seek out faults in partners or friends so that they can create an excuse to leave a relationship.

◆ A fear or anxiety about being inadequate for a partner or relationship.

◆ Withdrawing from relationships when things get intimate or emotional.


They attempt to keep their feelings at bay but are unable to; they can’t just avoid their anxiety or run away from their feelings.
If you do not intervene immediately, those who have a relationship with a fearful avoidant person will end up having to settle for a relationship made up of distances, misunderstandings and conflicts until the relationship is totally broken. Everything that you have built together will be lost forever.

Understanding and managing the wounds of attachment is the best gift that you can give to your relationship.