I thought my lodger Cooper was off-limits, but a very naughty selfie of him changes my mind. He shows me a photo of Jessica—his new girlfriend’s—puppy, but when I accidentally swipe right I see that he’s been sending her photographs of a different kind!

He tells me he and Jessica are yet to do it and he has his trepidations. Well I’m here to calm you down, Cooper, and I would love to show you what I’d do to that big thing of yours.