I Suck at Relationships So You Don't Have To: 10 Rules for Not Screwing Up Your Happily Ever After
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Date: April 2015
Duration: 8 hours 30 minutes
Bethenny is good at many things being an entrepreneur, mom, and TV star but when it comes to relationships, she is the first to admit that she has had many failures; in fact, she claims she's made every possible mistake there is to make. In this book she comes clean, but also offers hard-earned advice on how to bravely take charge of your love life, find Mr. Right not just Mr. Right Now and form lasting relationships that can weather all storms. Each mistake from "I had control issues," to "I rushed it," and "I thought I could change him," is illustrated with compelling, funny, and sometimes outrageous examples that are pure Bethenny.
This book is the next step on Bethenny's Place of Yes journey. It's easy to give up on yourself and to expect the worst from a relationship, but your life can be better than "not bad" or "good enough": it can be amazing. And you can use Bethenny's relationship rules to be more successful, more fulfilled, healthier, and happier than ever before.
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1: Be a Woman, But Know a Man's Mind
Women and men are different animals and knowing the differences (and the exceptions to the differences) will help you understand why the opposite sex can be so infuriating. Includes stealing some secrets from the male mind to make life with men a lot easier and more enjoyable.
Chapter 2: Be the Fisher, Not the Fish
So you want to know how to catch a man? This is my area, and I've got good advice on how to get a guy interested, how to be a great girlfriend, and how to give a man what he needs, even when he doesn't know he needs it. Choosing the right one in the first place? I have some work to do in that area but let's work on this concept together. Includes a section on the pros and cons of choosing someone with the same frame of reference as you: age, socioeconomic status, culture, religion, etc.
Chapter 3: Control Yourself
Control issues? Me? The problem with controlling is that you really can't control or change anyone but yourself. When you recognize what you can and cannot control and change, you will (ironically) be able to exert a lot more control over every situation.
Chapter 4: Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game
I've met a lot of players in my day, and I've played plenty of games. They can be fun, and they can also get destructive. Here are the rules: how to play, and when to fold because the relationship is getting serious. Includes a section on the Burner Method of dating. Also includes advice for people who aren't sure they actually want to be in a relationship, or ever get married, or ever have kids.
Chapter 5: Get a Life
If you're still waiting for the phone to ring or for that text to finally come, if you have let yourself go, or if you have sacrificed parts of your life you love for a man, you need this chapter. Learn how to get your groove back (which will make you even more desirable to him). Includes a section on dating and how to handle those sometimes-awkward first few dates: what to wear, how much to drink, and how to know when you're ready to have sex. Also includes a section for married women who have lost track of their own interests.
Chapter 6: Trust Your Gut
How many times have I ignored that voice in my head that told me I was doing the wrong thing with the wrong person? Too many times. Learn what I learned, and how to recognize the signs that things aren't what they should be. Includes a section on how to know when you should keep working things out and how to know when it's really over. Also includes a section on sex, because you cannot fix a lack of sexual chemistry.
Chapter 7: Don't Lead by Committee
Everybody has an opinion, but when you let those opinions get between you, you'll never see your relationship for what it really is. Here's how to keep other people's noses out of your business (while still getting the valuable advice you crave).
Chapter 8: Don't Let Cracks Become Craters
If your relationship is low on the list, it will start to fall apart. This chapter is about how to prioritize and maintain a relationship, stop hitting below the belt, and support each other instead of tear each other down. Includes a section on money and how to handle it when you make more than he does.
Chapter 9: Don't be the Definition of Insanity
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results. Are you always having the same fight? For years, even? Do you keep trying to fix the same problem with the same response? Here's how to get out of that rut and those bad habits and do something different or come at a problem in a different way, to shake up your relationship and make things better.
Chapter 10: Remember Who You Are
Relationships are difficult, and anyone who says they aren't isn't ready to be in one. I'm all for giving a relationship my all, but a relationship should never come at the price of you. This final chapter is full of advice for maintaining and nurturing your own identity, so no matter who you love and who loves you, no matter how in love and committed you are, no matter how long you have been married, you are always still an autonomous individual who knows who she is and can make it on her own (even if she never actually has to). Because the best relationships are not made of two people becoming one, or one person subsuming another, but of two people hand in hand, supporting each other's individuality and going through life together, headed in the same direction.