In this “funny, intimate” (The New York Times) memoir-in-essays, comedian Alison Leiby unpacks the multitudes women are told to be—and the joy of refusing to pick just one.

“Alison Leiby is the Jewish millennial David Sedaris. Reading this book was like having a glass of wine with your funniest, smartest, and coolest friend.”—Bess Kalb, author of Nobody Will Tell You This But Me

Have you ever frozen when someone asks, “So, tell me about yourself?” If so, take a page from I'm a Lot. Alison Leiby proudly embraces the identities we’re often encouraged to hide: Housewives stan. Discount shopaholic. Former jock. Happily single. Childless by choice and proud cat mom. Through these different roles and identities, Leiby reveals her hard-earned wisdom about what it’s like to be a woman who does it all (except for the things that make her say “uh, no thank you”).

When she was nineteen years old, a complication from back surgery left Leiby on her deathbed. After a surprising recovery, you might assume Leiby was ready to seize life by the you-know-whats. But instead of letting this one miraculous experience define her, Leiby’s brush with death made her realize there is nothing more beautiful in this life than just getting to be yourself. And while women are still expected to conform to many patriarchal labels, Leiby ignores the pressure to be palatable and instead champions all the joyful, weird, and complicated selves she brings to the world.

In fourteen personal essays full of deadpan jokes, tender moments of candid introspection, and insightful social commentary, Leiby encourages us to ditch the manufactured Instagram persona and embrace the fact that sometimes the puzzle pieces don’t always fit to create a perfect picture, but that doesn’t mean we are incomplete.