It felt as though every nerve in my body was popping. Imagine large strong hands slowly applying pressure while breaking a family-size package of uncooked, dry spaghetti. I was the spaghetti. Breaking down one piece at a time.



This is how Juanita Rasmus begins the wise, frank, and witty account of what she later called 'The Crash' and what her counselor labeled 'a major depressive episode.' This experience landed Juanita, a busy pastor, mother, and community leader, in bed. In addition to exhaustion and depression, on the spiritual front she experienced a dark night of the soul. When everything in her life finally came to a stop, she found that she had to learn to be—with herself and with God—all over again.



Pastor Juanita writes from her life with kind attention to the life of the listener. She offers both practical and spiritual insights but never pat answers. If you are longing for a trustworthy companion through dark days, this book is here for you. Each chapter includes life-giving spiritual practices to help you discover your own new ways of being.