My midlife crisis. My rules. And if it doesn’t put me six feet under, I plan to live it up in style—possibly for the rest of eternity …

After a Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader moment, I discovered I do indeed have a father. He comes with a hell of a lot of baggage, but I’ve decided to keep him. Not only do I have a father, I have a kickass new sister, a ghostly family, and super powers to boot. If you add to the mix that I’m dating the Grim Reaper, it’s a freakin’ party.

The only thing standing in the way of my happiness is the Angel of Mercy, though Angel of Misery is more appropriate. She’s responsible for almost everyone I have loved, and who has loved me, being taken away. With the help of family and friends, I will track her down and show her exactly what a perimenopausal hot flash looks like in action.

Job: Death Counselor—supergluing ghosts back together and solving their issues is rewarding. For real.

Mission: Bring the seriously evil Angel of Mercy to justice without dying or getting anyone else killed in the process.

Team: A bunch of certifiable Immortals, including one who re-homes vibrators. Yes, you read that correctly.

How to do this? Wing it. Wine, my Demon boyfriend, a houseful of deceased squatters, and good friends by my side will help.