An inspiring, honest and intimate memoir about family, love and rising from the ashes.



'Ali's memoir absolutely wrecked me - in the best, most necessary way. It's brutally honest, beautifully written, and I have huge respect for her for putting this into the world' Paula Penfold

'I couldn't put this book down. And it's haunted me since I finished it' Claire Mabey, The Spinoff

'Gripping, revelatory, generous and layered' Alex Casey, The Spinoff


2026 Book Industry Awards NZ Audiobook of the Year Finalist

From the age of twelve, Alison Mau wanted to be a journalist like her father. He was a beer-swilling, straight-talking Aussie who was rough around the edges but could quote passages of Hamlet at will. He taught Ali everything - from how to skin a rabbit and throw a punch to how to craft a sharp sentence - and she craved his validation as she navigated the sexist badlands of Australian print and television journalism through the 1980s and '90s.

From Melbourne to London and Auckland, Ali built a glittering career and became a media darling - until an unexpected call from her sister brought her professional and personal lives crashing together with devastating force. As an investigative reporter bringing New Zealand's #MeToo stories to light, she had to survey the wreckage of her family myth and ask herself, 'Am I strong enough?' and 'Are there words for this?'