The Pied Piper of Hamelin: Russell Brand's Trickster Tales
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Date: November 2014
Duration: 0 hours 46 minutes
Once upon a time, long ago, in a time that seemed, to those present, exactly like now except their teeth weren't so clean and more things were wooden, there was a town called Hamelin.
The people of Hamelin were a pompous bunch who loved themselves and their town so much that if it were possible they would have spent all day zipped up in a space suit smelling their own farts. But space suits hadn't been invented yet so they couldn't.
Then one day without warning a gang of rats bowled into the town and began causing a right rumpus. These were no ordinary rats. They were as big as cats and afraid of nothing. They were oily and slick and wore eye patches and carried flick-knives and could machine gun butt-pellets out of their egg-holes whenever they fancied. These rats were real badasses.
The complacent, lazy folks of Hamelin had no idea how to cope with this new menace. They say cometh the hour, cometh the man. That means when a situation demands it, the right person , it could be a woman, despite what sexists would tell you , will appear. This was the hour and in this case the man was a piper. A pied piper. He noticed the town had a bit of a rat problem, and he offered to help.
This is the story of this pied piper fellow with some strange music and a town of pompous people and pompous rats. Maybe you've heard this story before. But maybe you've never heard it quite like this.