Regretting Motherhood: A Study

It made me affirm my decision to be childfree. I know, I feel it, what my mother always say to me, my sister who has a child now, and also other mothers, regarding motherhood, is actually a lie. They always tell me how fulfilling it was, but their actions and complaints tell me otherwise. I can feel deep inside them the regret, and wish to undo things. But I know saying these things are considered taboo so they locked it deep inside. But not so deep that I can still feel it. I find this book helpful to validate my decisions. If you want to be or contemplating to be or in the fence of whether you want to be a mother or not, please read this first.

This book is incredible, but you need to be in the correct headspace to listen to it. It’s not something you want to listen to on the way to work if you’re the type to mull over sensitive topics for long periods; save it for weekends or time where you have space to absorb everything. Do prepare yourself to go back and relisten to many passages, because they will strike you with such honesty that you crave to hear it once more. This book touches on things that mothers have been told to lock away deep within themselves, tarred and feathered should their human emotion and experience dare reach the surface. You will find yourself thinking of your mother and the mothers you’ve known in your life. You will start to understand some of the unexplainable feelings communicated between a mother and child that are nearly impossible to verbalize anywhere other than an anonymous, safe place. This study helped me grow a new appreciation, respect and understanding for my mother that was always under the surface but could not be identified. Some element of regret, whether large or small, is omnipresent and universal to motherhood. This is a simple fact, not a sin, not a crime and not a mark against a mother’s character. It is the result of thousands of years of social subjugation, suppression and oppression. Mothers are the sole reason the world turns. We must allow them space to regret.