In the 1950's, Peggy Cook came into the world with bilateral clubfeet, feet that are twisted and facing each other, necessitating that a person walk on the sides of the feet or on tiptoe. In addition, the heel chords are short, and tight which also affects balance and gait. Surgery was available in her childhood to correct the deformity and potential disability. But Peggy also came into the world with a family who practiced Christian Science, and a father who worked for The Mother Church his whole career. The family focused on spiritual healing and prayer in liew of medical interventions. As a child, Peggy blamed herself for not being able to pray well enough for her condition to be healed. She experienced the shame that comes with feeling not faithful enough or spiritual enogh to see that clufeet are 'unreal,' the church's word for deformity or sickness of any kind. Walking became increasingly painful, without the needed surgery or any pain relief.



As she matured, she began to question her family's unswerving faith as her mother struggled with skin cancer, relying on Christian Science 'treatment,' by Christian Science practitioners. Prayer was the Christian Science treatment. Her mother was never healed, living a life in pain, and dying a torturous death.



Peggy began her journey of transformation, releasing her trust in spiritual healing and replacing it with her decision to rely on medical science. In her late thirties she had surgery to correct her clubfeet.



This memoir chronicles her journey from indoctrination to individuation and offers hope that it's never too late to rebuild a life and experience joy and freedom in a way that acknowledges one's agencey.