Welcome to my midlife. It’s a hot mess. It’s complicated. It’s hilarious. And, if I’m not careful, it’s going to kill me.

The entity in charge of everything—and I mean everything—has lost Its ever-loving mind, and it’s up to me and my nearest and dearest to fix it. This deity is dangerous and out for blood—my daughter’s included.

So, we’re going after it before it comes after us. I’ve called in the troops, and we’re ready to rumble.

My ride-or-die?

Hotter-than-Hades Grim Reaper. Check.

The three people who can potentially defeat the Higher Power?

Daughter who’s six months old but looks twenty. Check.

A human-ish best friend with too much Botox. Check.

Eight-inch magical cannibal. Unfortunately, check.

What could go wrong? I refuse to answer that question. So far, I’ve had a chaotic yet wonderful midlife, thanks to a fair amount of luck. But with end of existence is at stake, it’s going to take more than a semi-charmed kind of life to win.

I’d really like to live the rest of my midlife in peace… not pieces.