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How to Be a Footballer

Author:
Peter Crouch
Read by:
Peter Crouch
Read Read Own Own

Unabridged Audiobook

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Ratings
Book
47
Narrator
11
Release Date
November 8, 2018
Duration
7 hours 36 minutes
Summary
'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times

'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro

**A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year**
**Shortlisted for the National Book Awards**
**Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**

You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.

So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.

We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.

I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?
Reviews
Profile Avatar James B. May 2023

Funny and insightful a perfect mix.

Profile Avatar Anonymous Apr 2020

Great insight into his career. Honest, funny and made better by the fact he narrates it himself.

Profile Avatar PAUL K. Jan 2020

Very entertaining, very well read and full marks for content - especially for a footy autobiography.

Profile Avatar Kevin L. Jan 2019

Crouchy reading this absolutely makes it! His personality really shines through! Brilliant insight and pretty funny too! Really enjoyed it!

Profile Avatar Steve R. Dec 2018

Cracking listen who knew Crouchy was so funny - made even better its read by Peter himself, thanks for the memories Big Man (with a lovely touch haha). Look forward to the continued podcasts etc

How to Be a Footballer

How to Be a Footballer

Author: Peter Crouch
Read by: Peter Crouch
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